It’s been a tough year…
2010 has found me enduring my first full year without my darling little Ella physically by my side. Although the pain of losing her appears to be sometimes more manageable, it is still very much unbearable when I face the reality, daily, that my life goes own and hers lives in my heart…
It has meant re-living for the first time the last few months of Ella’s short life. Each day etched in my memory… each bringing back its load of charged emotions...
2010 was the year of the Vancouver Olympics... The very reason I found myself moving to the west coast 5 years ago... A time which was meant for celebrations... A time which caused more pain than pleasure... because my heart was no where near festive... And seeing young babies all Canadianized only confirmed what Ella and I were not to experience...
It brought a dreaded first angel anniversary... And a second memorial birthday… Both, as warned by my veteran angel moms, were not as sad as the anticipation of each. Coupling the events with fundraisers kept me focused and busy enough that the moments were not only bearable but somewhat enjoyable… though the days before and after were still very tough to get through…
2010 has also seen me fail at more attempts to become a mom once again… And it has allowed the formal confirmation that Ella had a genetically-linked illness transmitted from me to her… I know what you are thinking… Those failures may have been my angel’s way of protecting her maman… but it does not make me feel any better…
With 2010 came the difficult realization of one more failure…. That of my relationship to Ella’s dad… And with it came the decision to finally put myself first, and separate… hoping Ella would understand...
2010 has brought its share of tears, from me and from Ella’s loved ones… but it also has brought laughter… At the very thought of the tricks that she keeps playing on everyone…
Unfortunately, 2010 uncovered more news of illness… And though I remain healthy, someone I love with all my heart is not so blessed… And just like Ella’s illness, this is they type of illness you hope you can beat… And so, we hope…
And yet... 2010 has been a good year…
It has found me become an advocate for families facing the disease that took Ella from me…
It meant a successful year back at work, full-time – after being away for nearly 18 months altogether rom the moment I went on early medical leave to the time I took to try to mend my heart…
In 2010, finally, came the launch of Everyone Loves Little Angels’ brand, a precious gift of talent from my friend Sophia Szeto…
2010 not only brought a confirmed diagnosis, it became the stepping stone for more medical analysis and, more importantly, a draft to an article to be published which will shed light and educate the medical community about PVNH...
It has culminated in over $11,000 raised in 21 months of fundraising for BC Children’s Hospital… And another $1,600 for Everyone Loves Little Angels… In addition to the couple of thousand dollars for Canuck Place, Children’s Miracle Network and Make-A-Wish Foundation collectively through various other activities…
With 2010 came the official first act of ELLA’s Teddy Program where super huggable teddy bears and glass angels were offered to parents who lost a child…
It also has brought me several times back to Montréal to be closer to my family…
2010 marks the first time I received a scholarship from CORD to attend a rare disease conference as the founder of Everyone Loves Little Angels and the PVNH support group…
And my first Action Day on Parliament Hill...
And among the best that came out of 2010 were the friendships, both old and new… Friendships that stand the test of time. Friendship that pick up where they were lost at sea anywhere from 20 to 30 years ago - and new friendships based on the strongest bonds… the love of a parent… the commonality of a rare illness…
So here comes 2011… So long 2010…
And aside from wishing my family and my friends nothing but good health, I am making exception this year and breaking tradition - wishing something for me… A good donor with a special egg… Just one… that takes… And for Ella… enough kind souls to join together to offer a Make-A-Wish in her honour by the time her 3rd memorial birthday comes…
ELLA - Everyone Loves Little Angels
